Curse, Paranoia, or Psychology?

Okay, I think we need to talk about this one because it is an issue I am perpetually hearing. Life is going to hell in a hand basket, relationships are going sour, finances suck, health is going bad, interpersonal conflicts, bill collectors, can't find a job, your Facebook page has been hacked, you are the victim of identity theft, your best friend sleeps with your husband or wife, and the list goes on and on.

You must be cursed, right? Surely, this can't be a natural phenomenon, it MUST be the result of someone throwing some left-handed conjure your way, right?

WRONG.

98% of the time this is the result of life folks, not a curse, not some enemy throwing down at you. It is the result of choices YOU make and beliefs you have that cause you to continue to make choices that result in a state of living that is less than your desired life.

Sometimes it all starts with a significant event that occurs at some point in your life, maybe in childhood or maybe in adulthood. Maybe you were abused as a child and internalized those events so that your core belief about yourself is that you do not deserve to have an easy, free living life. You believe you don't deserve happiness because that is what you were told when you were little. Everything that happens to us when we are 5 to 6 years old shapes our personality and life perception for the rest of our lives. If you were beaten or sexually abused when you were so little, the messages that go along with that kind of treatment are:

*You aren't worthy of respect.
*Your body does not belong to you.
*You are less than everyone else.
*You better not say anything or you will suffer more atrocities.
*You can't trust anyone.
*You have no control over your life.
*Life is not safe.
*No one will come to your rescue because you aren't worthy, your body doesn't belong to you, you are less than everyone else and you better not say anything because you will be hurt again or someone else will be hurt and it will be your fault, life is not safe, you have no control, and you DEFINITELY cant trust anyone.

These are the messages you carry with you into your adulthood, and these are the messages that guide your decision making. Often, as adults, we will recreate the same abuse we suffered as children as a subconscious means of resolving and working through the trauma. But it doesn't work, does it? You continue to get in one abusive relationship after another, you continue to be attracted to the same kinds of people who treat you disrespectfully, constantly invade your boundaries, treat you like you are less than everyone else. You settle for a man or a woman who is unfaithful, a drunk or drug addict, won't work, or in some way closely resembles the person who abused you as a child.

No wonder you think it has always been that way! No wonder you come to the conclusion that you must have been born with a curse!

But you weren't born with a curse. You may have been born into a fucked up situation, treated badly and learned insecurity and low self esteem, but you have not been cursed.

What about those of you for whom you were not abused as children? What about the chain of bad luck that has happened ever since the death of your mother, father, best friend? Ever since you got married or into a relationship with a certain partner?

Everything we experience comes with a set of beliefs we form as a result of those experiences. If for example, you are sad and do not allow yourself to grieve, you can become emotionally stuck. It can become hard to make even the smallest of decisions. You just don't have the energy to fight for yourself anymore. The bills have piled up and you are so overwhelmed you can't DO anything except wonder, why me? What did I do to deserve this? Surely this isn't normal? It must be a curse!

There's an old saying "life is hard and then you die" (and several variations on that theme). The fact of the matter is that life IS hard. People die. People are not perfect. People will betray us, not everyone will treat us the way we deserve to be treated. We get sick. People we love get sick. Our animals die. We will always have bills and most of us will never be wealthy. OMG, I am exhausted just thinking about it! Why bother, right?

Now, let's think about the saying from a different perspective. Life is hard and then you die. What does that mean?

The fact of the matter is that life IS hard, but there is also joy if we look for it.

People die, but people live longer than they die.

People are not perfect, thank Buddha! Could you imagine if you had to live up to the standard of perfection?

People will betray us, but people will also be loyal to us. We will have friends along the way if we are open to receiving them.

Not everyone will treat us the way we deserve to be treated...IF YOU ALLOW IT. We train people how to treat us. If we allow people to treat us like shit then guess what? We will be treated like shit.

We get sick but we also have periods of good health. And along this line of thinking, what have you done today to ensure you have good health? Are you smoking, drinking excessively, eating junk food, smoking pot, doing drugs and sitting on the couch all day? or are you making a conscious decision about everything that goes into your body? Are you treating your body like the temple it is?

People we love die. Yes, but they also live, usually a lot longer than the process of death. Are you appreciating everyone who means something to you on a daily basis? Or are you taking them for granted? And guess what? The longer we live, the more people we know will die. That is a fact of life...death is a fact of life. Death is part of the life-death-life cycle. Without death, there is no life.

Our animals die. Our animals live...longer than they die. Are you loving your animal companion to the best of your ability today?

We will always have bills. Yes, but we can learn how to pay them off. We can understand that some things we will always have to pay for and then there are those things we never had to buy in the first place.

Most of us will never be wealthy. If we are talking about money, this is true. Can you be happy without being wealthy? What is wealth? What is happiness?

Is the glass half empty or half full? If it is my tendency to believe the glass is half empty, then I will be more inclined to believe that life happens TO me. I am more inclined to believe I must be crossed. If I believe the glass is half full, I will find the joy in each day, turn problems into challenges, and reclaim my life. I am empowered to change the things I can and find serenity in knowing there are things I simply cannot.

There is a concept in psychology of the self-fulfilling prophecy. This is what I am talking about. If I believe it to be, so it will be. This can work for the positive and for the negative, equally.

Life happens. This doesn't mean a curse has been laid on you. It means if life sucks for you, then guess what? You can change it! And how freeing and empowering it is when you come to that realization. This is why magick is so powerful; it gives us tools we can use to make the changes we need. Just know that magick is a cocreative process. Waving a magic wand only has its place in Harry Potter movies, not real life. In real life we have to align our thoughts and behaviors to be consistent with our vision for ourselves and consistent with the work we do.

Here is the basic truth: we were all born sacred and divine human beings, perfect just as we are. No matter what has ever happened, this is the truth. We grow to be adults with the POWER to change. We can co create our lives in partnership with universal forces to be the lives we always wanted to live. Remember this and you will no longer have the need to believe you are cursed.

Copyright 2010-2012 Denise Alvarado, All rights reserved worldwide. Please ask if you would like to repost this article.

 

The Ten Most Common Reasons Love Spells Don’t Work

Aside from requests for wealth, prosperity, and debt relief, the most common spells people request are love spells. Every day I received questions from clients and potential customers about how to win back a lover, how to keep a partner faithful, and how to put the passion back into a relationship.

As human beings, it is normal to want to be loved. In fact, next to food and shelter, the need for love and companionship is essential for healthy human psychological and emotional development. It is not surprising that people are willing to do anything and pay anything to gain the love of someone special.

But do love spells work? Well, yes and no. It depends on a number of factors. A reputable spellcaster should explain to you how their particular magick system works and give you instructions for what you should and shouldn’t do in order to manipulate energy in your favor. However, if you ask someone to cast a love spell for you and they guarantee it will work, run the other way. There is no such thing as 100% effective magick, and I am about to tell you why.

Many people do not understand that magick is a cocreative process which necessitates that you work in partnership with the Universe in order to ensure success. This is why I never guarantee any Voodoo love spells I perform. I cannot control what you do or don’t do. The only control I have is over me and the authentic ritual I perform. How you think, feel, believe, and behave is up to you; yet, these dynamics have everything to do with the success or failure of any Voodoo love spell.

To help you understand why love spells and Voodoo love spells frequently fail, I have come up with a list of the top ten reasons love spells don't work. These reasons apply whether you cast the spell yourself or someone else does the work for you.

1. You have unrealistic expectations. If you live in Picayune, Mississippi and you are casting a spell to make Criss Angel love you, well, your chances of success are pretty slim…especially if you have never even met the guy! There needs to be a strong connection to the person to begin with, and a basis from which love can be nurtured and sparked. Furthermore, love spells do not work overnight. Magick is often a process that involves removing obstacles and clearing unwanted influences, and realigning and maneuvering energies to affect change for the best possible result.

2. Magick is not guaranteed. Just as prayers to the creator may go seemingly unanswered, there may be a reason that a spell does not work. It may be that the Universe has different plans for you. This reason is very hard for some people to accept.

3. You are taking shortcuts. To be a powerful and effective conjurer, you must have the right tools, focus, and mindset. Power results from the use of traditional ingredients such as roots, oils, and powders, from the use of traditional tools such candles and a knife, from performing powerful ritual techniques such as those passed down in the Voodoo tradition for thousands of years, and from having a traditional altar or work space.

4. You doubt the power of magick and you do not “believe” in your own personal power. Magick systems are based on faith. If you do not believe in the possibility of shifting energy and in your ability to attract certain energy your way, and if you do not believe in the power of the Spirits that you may be asking for a favor, you are wasting your time and money.

5. You are stalking and/or harassing your desired mate. Do not threaten or terrorize, attempt to coerce or intimidate, or start calling or emailing your desired lover. To do so will reverse any spell performed on your behalf. You need to create and allow space for the correct energies to align and work in your favor.

6. You are being scammed. Bar none, this is the most common reason love spells do not work. You have paid someone to perform a spell and they never do what they were paid to do, nor did they ever intend to do what they were paid to do. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who are just waiting to prey on your emotional grief and desperation. An authentic practitioner will have a conversation with you about your situation and assess your expectations and the likelihood of success. They will give you an honest appraisal of your request and will not take your money if there is little chance of the spell working.

7. You do not provide complete and accurate information to the spellcaster. An authentic practitioner will petition your requests in a formal ritual on your behalf based upon the information you provide. If you do not provide the correct information, or if you lie about the situation and expect the practitioner to “magically” make your ex fall back in love with you (even though you were abusive, for example), the spell will not work and may in fact, backfire. The Spirits are not stupid and do not take kindly to attempts to fraud or manipulate them. Voodoo Spirits are exceptionally powerful and keen to such shenanigans, and you will have no one to blame except yourself if you end up with the exact opposite of what you wanted.

8. You are obsessing over your love spell or Voodoo love spell. Obsession is fueled by desperation. These feelings attract negativity and will weaken any spell being performed.

9. You fail to address any underlying obstacles or issues. Many times there are unwanted influences creating an obstacle to the union or reunion of two people. These obstacles can be external, such as other people, or internal, such as a lack of confidence or self-worth. A cleansing of some sort should always be performed to clear the path for the Divine energies to do their work.

10. You talk about the spellwork to others. Under no circumstance should you discuss your spellwork with anyone under any conditions. To do so will weaken the power of the spell and will in essence, create an obstacle that wasn’t there to begin with.

Remember that Voodooists, rootworkers, and spellcasters of all kinds are not miracle workers – they are not deities. Practitioners vary in skill and expertise and even the most skilled and experienced spellcasters will not have a 100% success rate. Jimmy Page is considered to be one of the best guitar players to have ever lived; yet, even he hits wrong notes sometimes. In fact, he hits wrong notes a lot of the time. But that doesn’t make him any less skilled of a guitar player and song writer, nor has that been an obstacle to his extreme and legendary success.

So if you want your love spell to be successful, make sure you address the top ten reasons that they commonly fail and behave and believe accordingly. Have respect for the Spirits that are willing and able to help, and be patient and accept the space between you and your desired lover for now in order to ensure the best possible outcome.

The photo is an image of Mater Dolorosa (Our Lady of Sorrows) who is likened to Erzulie Freda in the Voodoo tradition. Get Our Lady of Sorrows as an altar poster from the Voodoo Butik.

Our Lady of Sorrows

For custom spellcasting, metaphysical consultation, and tarot readings, please visit Planet Voodoo.